A patchwork of recovery resources – what does your list look like?

I decided to recover out loud yesterday on my 16-month milestone. I told my story of how far down gray area drinking took me me before I got off that shitty hamster wheel. Within hours, so many friends, acquaintances and family shared their own sober stories openly in the FB comments. Others were brave andContinue reading “A patchwork of recovery resources – what does your list look like?”

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Dear Alcohol: It’s not me. It’s you…because you’re a gaslighting mother f*cker

I’m 16 months booze-free. Almost 500 continuous days without alcohol. The best part about those numbers is that I had to look them up this morning. For anyone who has tried to get sober, you know how long those first few months can go. <…Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick…> Now, the days soar by andContinue reading “Dear Alcohol: It’s not me. It’s you…because you’re a gaslighting mother f*cker”

Oxygen Masks, Part 2

I write this one for my best friend. You really understand who I am. You see me. You always did. In fact, I think one of the reasons I drank was because I couldn’t see what you saw. I didn’t believe it. I felt I could never live up to your vision. So, I drankContinue reading “Oxygen Masks, Part 2”

Stupid neuropathways

(And now we’re up to date: July 15, 2021) I took my youngest son into Boston this past Sunday. We visited Martin’s Memorial Park. It was beautiful and sad, and made me stop to feel such gratitude that I have my boys with me safe and sound. But there was an uncomfortable pit in myContinue reading “Stupid neuropathways”

Pulled out of nose dive in COVID

(From June 2021. Adapted from my gratitude letter to The Bubble Hour) On June 6th, I reached 9 months alcohol-free. The amount of time it takes to grow a new life. As a mom of two (VERY!) spirited young boys, I’m awed at the parallel I feel between how it took 9 months to “build”Continue reading “Pulled out of nose dive in COVID”

“Drink one glass of wine and call me in the morning”

(From April 2021) So I’m in the hospital for chest pain. Everything is going to be fine. They’re sending me home. The nurse just said to me, “Go home and have a glass of wine.” I know she was trying to lighten the mood. To reassure me I wasn’t going to have a cardiac eventContinue reading ““Drink one glass of wine and call me in the morning””

Sometimes the grass IS greener

(From April 2021) Got kicked in the gut today, metaphorically speaking. Kids went back to school full-time today after a year. Parents in the neighborhood got together to celebrate…..by poppin’ champagne and sluggin’ beer in pretty mugs at 10am. I get it. I would’ve brought my own bottle (and not to share) once upon aContinue reading “Sometimes the grass IS greener”

Genetics loads the gun / Environment pulls the trigger

(From March 2021) “Genetics loads the gun; environment pulls the trigger.” (heard this on The Bubble Hour) Promise to my boys: I don’t know if that’s all true. But I hope to provide an environment where you know you don’t have to “man up.” You will feel what you need to feel. Identify it. ThenContinue reading “Genetics loads the gun / Environment pulls the trigger”

Calling all Shape Shifters

(From March 2021) To my fellow Shape Shifters in the room: How often could your personality twist and turn to adapt to the person you were with, or to the situation you were in?How often did that go against what you were really feeling in the moment?Sobriety helps us stay who we are. No needContinue reading “Calling all Shape Shifters”